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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Just landed via Telegram:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Trending via Snapchat:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Trending via Instagram:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Making waves on Reddit:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Trending via Reddit:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Witty quote about aging, humorously comparing 40s to early nights instead of wild 20s.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the pre-party snacks turn into your main event 🥳🎉🍕#EarlyBirdSpecial

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

49 shares on Reddit this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

38 shares on X this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Spotted on YouTube:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Just landed via YouTube:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Going viral on Reddit:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Just landed via Facebook:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

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