Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Just landed via X:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Breaking via Slack:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Making waves on Threads:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Spotted on Messenger:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Seen just now on X:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I've been a trendsetter with my patented "Who Needs Lunch?" diet! 😅🥴🍽️

call, depressed, depression, eating, eating habit, fasting, financial, financial struggle, habit, health, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, mental, mental health, poor, poverty, struggle, sure, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

0

2 months ago

am, book, buy, humor, i, irony, persuasion, please, psychological, psychological trick, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, sarcasm, trick, writing
The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

0

2 months ago

2, acting, alcohol, allowed, drink, drinks, humor, i, island, just, limitation, love, Love Island, night, only, over, reality, reality show, sarcasm, show, thing
OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

0

2 months ago

clarity, clear, communication, eyewear, glasses, going, humor, just, ok, put
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

0

2 months ago

advice, again, comeback, free, freedom, friendship, humor, love, means, nobody, relationship, return, set, someone
“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

0

2 months ago

AI, asked, chat, Chat GPT, conversation, gpt, humor, lost, mind, question
RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

0

2 months ago

better, death, different, even, everyone, God, gods, hubris, humor, irony, killed, maybe, superiority

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Threads this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

13 shares on X this month:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

10 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Going viral on TikTok:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Making waves on Twitch:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Breaking via X:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Spotted on X:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Making waves on YouTube:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Breaking via Discord:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Shared recently on Threads:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨