Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Going viral on Threads:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Just landed via Discord:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Just landed via Instagram:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Breaking via Threads:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Just shared via Instagram:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Breaking via Reddit:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I've been a trendsetter with my patented "Who Needs Lunch?" diet! 😅🥴🍽️

call, depressed, depression, eating, eating habit, fasting, financial, financial struggle, habit, health, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, mental, mental health, poor, poverty, struggle, sure, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

0

2 months ago

couch, exercise, humor, i, laziness, procrastination, sad, treadmill
“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

0

1 month ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, humor, i, myself, present, presents, procrastination, self-gift, shopping, stage, start, where
As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

0

2 months ago

activity, ask, chores, dad, fun, fun activity, humor, leaf, mine, neighbor, next, parenting, raking, required
Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

0

2 months ago

discontinued, discontinued item, every, fast, fast food, food, food memory, girl, humor, i, item, life, life ruin, lost, lost love, love, mean, memory, nostalgia, ruin, ruining, warning
The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, day, i, laziness, miss, relaxation, sleep, thing
Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

0

2 months ago

activity, ball, ball pit, creativity, fun, giant, IKEA, meeting, pit, place, work, work meeting, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on YouTube this month:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

74 shares on X this month:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

42 shares on X this month:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Going bananas on X:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Spotted on Instagram:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨