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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Live now on Slack:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Going bananas on Slack:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Live now on X:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

1 month ago

Playful quote about sneaking off for superhero adventures when offline.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Saving the world one unread message at a time! 🦸‍♂️📵✨

doing, excuse, humor, just, know, message, messages, multitasking, posting, returning, shit, superhero

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18 shares on TikTok this month:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

63 shares on X this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Trending via Snapchat:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Going viral on YouTube:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Going viral on Reddit:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Live now on Messenger:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

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Activity Log ✨

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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