Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Live now on Telegram:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Making waves on X:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Spotted on Facebook:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Going viral on Telegram:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Breaking via WeChat:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Shared recently on Discord:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If only those energy vampires could multitask, I'd have a six-pack by now! 😂🧛‍♀️💪

drain, energy, energy drain, fat, fatigue, humor, humor quote, life, motivation, people, sarcasm, self-care, should, suck, take, too, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, fifth, food, fridge, harder, hope, hoping, humor, hunger, kitchen, magic, new, nothing, opening, snack, time
Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

0

2 months ago

adult, birth, crying, humor, joke, life, much, perspective, sarcasm, world
No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

0

6 months ago

affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

0

2 months ago

airplane, aviation, bird, cooler, flight, flying, humor, i, think, whimsical, wings
It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

0

2 months ago

clapping, clapping emoji, comment, death, emoji, family, fun, games, hands, media, mistake, news, prayer, prayer hands, send, social, social media
I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

0

4 months ago

attitude, clue, cluelessness, confidence, doing, good, humor, pretty, self-deprecating, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

24 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m sick of living through history!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Spotted on Twitch:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Seen just now on Threads:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Breaking via TikTok:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Seen just now on Threads:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Making waves on YouTube:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Trending via Discord:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨