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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Making waves on Facebook:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I am single, please disturb me!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People should come with warning labels.

Shared recently on Slack:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Shared recently on Threads:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

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Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”
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Commentary:
Germany: where the periodic table and math equations feel at home because everyone gets an invite 📚🔬🇩🇪

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I love men with a provider fetish.

74 shares on Slack this month:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Trending via Threads:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Seen just now on Threads:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Just landed via Threads:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Just landed via Twitch:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Going bananas on Slack:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

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