Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🛸 "If you love me at my alien-replacement phase, then you've passed the ultimate relationship test! I guess that makes us 'out of this world' together! 👽❤️"

alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

0

2 months ago

animal, cat, ear, humor, ignore, muscle, pet, sarcasm
I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

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2 months ago

entertainment, favorite, good, humor, i, opinion, say, show
Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

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2 months ago

better, crazy, else, everyone, knowing, nothing, right, thought
My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

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2 months ago

award, award ceremony, ceremony, cleaned, cleaning, dressed, event, funny situation, humor, husband, kitchen, living, living room, room, situation, suit, time, unexpected, unexpected event, waiting
Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

0

2 months ago

activity, circle, exercise, flipping, gasp, gesture, humor, me, outdoor, outdoor activity, running, sarcasm, track, vultures
Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

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2 months ago

accountability, blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, irony, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

16 shares on Discord this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Making waves on Messenger:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Just landed via Instagram:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Just shared via Facebook:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Trending via Telegram:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Trending via Messenger:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨