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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Trending via Threads:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Trending via X:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Just landed via Telegram:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Trending via Instagram:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Just shared via Instagram:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

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Commentary:
"2023's plot twist: same script, new season! 🎉🤦‍♂️ #IsThisTheDirector'sCut?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

16 shares on Threads this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Live now on Threads:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Spotted on Slack:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

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