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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,758

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Going viral on WeChat:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Trending via TikTok:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like dads view rest stops as a personal vendetta against time and traffic 🚗💨🚫⛽😅

ahead, back, competition, dad, driving, family, family trip, hard, hate, hour, humor, last, pass, passing, road, road trip, stopping, trip, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

2 months ago
character, childhood, fantasy, humor, imagination, me, neverending, Neverending Story, nightmares, still, story, wolf
“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

1 month ago
anxiety, around, awkwardness, comfortable, communication, humor, quiet, sarcasm, social, social anxiety, thanks
I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

1 month ago
anything, awareness, celebrity, celebrity culture, culture, fame, humor, i, know, miss, nostalgia, opinion, thought
My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

1 month ago
able, being, childhood, humor, memory, night, nostalgia, rested, sleep, waking
People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

1 month ago
aubergine, bin, fact, food, fridge, humor, mistake, people, should
The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

2 months ago
art, care, crazy, health, humor, letting, letting go, mental, mental health, once, relaxation, relief, self, self-care, stress, stress relief, subtle, while, yourself

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Going viral on YouTube:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Trending via Instagram:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Breaking via Threads:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

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Activity Log ✨

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

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Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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