Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Making waves on TikTok:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Going bananas on Discord:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Just shared via Messenger:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Just shared via Facebook:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Spotted on WeChat:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like dads view rest stops as a personal vendetta against time and traffic 🚗💨🚫⛽😅

ahead, back, competition, dad, driving, family, family trip, hard, hate, hour, humor, last, pass, passing, road, road trip, stopping, trip, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

0

2 months ago

acknowledgment, critique, humor, i, irony, most, people, rich, stupid, stupidity, super, think, time, wealth, wealthy
At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, American, American Dad, animation, cartoon, comedy, dad, family, Family Guy, graduate, guy, humor, life, life stage, point, show, stage, TV, TV Show
“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

0

2 months ago

40, age, am, appearance, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, self-deprecating
Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

0

2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, clock, humor, irony, management, means, morning, morning routine, routine, same, sleep, sleeping, still, time, time management, waking, waking up
If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

0

2 months ago

chaos, clothes, exorcism, humor, idea, parenting, struggle, toddler, try
Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

0

2 months ago

accidental, accidentally, bankruptcy, contact, eye, eye contact, grocery, grocery store, humor, shopping, store, sweets, temptation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨