Commentary:
I'd save so much on gas and sanity if teleportation was an app! 🚀📱
64 Funny able quotes
The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.
Commentary:
When women develop radar as a superpower instead of flying! 🕵️♀️✨📡
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.
Commentary:
Imagine the savings on grocery bills… and napkins! 🐍🍽️ #SnakeLife
Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.
Commentary:
I'm multitasking so hard, even my phone is asking for a break 😅📱❤️
You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?
Commentary:
Wash once, cry twice! If only dirty dishes stayed clean after one wash too. 🍽️🧼💁♀️
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.
Commentary:
When life gives you mashed potatoes, it locks the drawer for extra flavor! 🥔🔒😂
At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?
Commentary:
When you reach the point where counting sheep turns into counting beers, it's time to make a brew-tiful decision! 🍺🌙😴
Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.
Commentary:
Finally found the solution to my flexibility problems: becoming a human-sized Lego set! 🙆♂️🦵🔧
Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.
Commentary:
When life plays the tunes of my confused heart, I just wish there was an app to identify if it's a love song or a cry for snacks 🎧❤️🤔🍪
After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.
Commentary:
Looks like they've mastered the ancient art of "Silent Marital Telepathy" 😂🤐💑