98 Funny absurdity quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

  Commentary:
  "When life hands you an ostrich, just remember: it can't fly away with your dreams! 🦩✨"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

  Commentary:
  "Forget self-help books, I'm off to gallop my problems away! 🐎🤣 #WildHorseWisdom"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic tale of when melons discovered fashion! 🎃👖😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

  Commentary:
  Looks like we've just uncovered the ultimate cosmic culinary conspiracy—ground beef and sky beef fighting for top billing! 🍔☁️ Maybe next we'll have moon cheese and starfruit on the menu! 🌙🧀✨ Keep pondering the universe's beefy mysteries! 😂🌍

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  3 months ago

  Share →: All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

  Commentary:
  "All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so when you accidentally hit someone's ride in the parking lot, you can just blame it on high-fives gone wrong! 🚗🙌😜"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

  Commentary:
  Well, sometimes you just have to trust the ladies in ponds with sharp objects, they might have better governmental advice than you think! 🗡️👩🌊 #SwordPowerGovernance

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

  Commentary:
  "Imagine getting a surprise 'lick alert' from your AirPods! 🤪👅 Just when you thought they couldn't get any more personalized… Battery low or just feeling extra affectionate? 😂 #AirPodsGoneWild"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

  Commentary:
  Oh, so now we're taking gardening advice from the flowers, huh? 🌼🌺 I guess it's time for a petal-to-petal conversation! 🌸🌻 Let's hope they don't stem you wrong! 🌱😄

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

  Commentary:
  "Vitamins are the mysterious superheroes of our daily diet 🍌☀️ They're everywhere and nowhere at the same time, just like that one friend who always shows up unexpectedly 😂 #VitaminMystery"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

  Commentary:
  Can you picture Pinocchio laying down some sassy burns without his nose growing? That's one heck of a roast battle! 🤥🔥 Just imagine the wooden boy dropping truth bombs with a straight face. 😂 Better watch out, his words might be as sharp as his nose is long!

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