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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m sick of living through history!

Going viral on Facebook:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Going viral on Twitch:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Trending via YouTube:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Breaking via Threads:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Going viral on X:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Spotted on Messenger:

This Monday could have been an email.

Just landed via X:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

3 weeks ago

activity, better, busy, dance, family, humor, i, kids, laughter, plotting, revenge, shake, Shakira, wish
Netflix & by yourself.

3 weeks ago

activity, alone, date, entertainment, fun, fun activity, Netflix, self-care, yourself
I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

3 weeks ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, people, push, social, social interaction
Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

3 weeks ago

activity, being, birthday, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humbling, karaoke, nothing, party, singer
Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

3 weeks ago

activity, day, dress, every, everyday, fashion, favorite, favorite day, fun, fun activity, humor, i, laundry, routine, week
Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

3 weeks ago

activity, bending, bending over, bungee, bungee jump, funny activity, hair, hair tie, humor, jump, jumping, lightheartedness, microdosing, over, risk, thrill, tie
Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

3 weeks ago

activity, binge-watching, casual, casual date, chicken, chicken nugget, comfort, comfort food, date, food, fun, fun activity, humor, Netflix, nugget, snack
If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

3 weeks ago

accessory, activity, cleaning, doing, dress, dress up, fun, fun activity, home, home cleaning, humor, little, outfits, pet, pet accessory, Roomba
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

3 weeks ago

activity, dog, dogs, humor, jump, lesson, lifespan, live, nothing, rabbit, run, turtle
My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

3 weeks ago

activity, correct, daughter, dinosaur, dinosaurs, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, me, misidentifying, parenting

For even more funny activity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

16 shares on Discord this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

81 shares on Threads this month:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Going viral on Discord:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Going bananas on Discord:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Trending via Twitch:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Activity Log ✨

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨