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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Just landed via Discord:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Live now on Twitch:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Just shared via WeChat:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Seen just now on X:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Making waves on Facebook:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

89 shares on Discord this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a person for me and me only.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop dating if you have no car.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Seen just now on Discord:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Just shared via Slack:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Live now on X:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Making waves on Slack:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Just shared via Slack:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

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