154 Funny anything quotes

• I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  age, anything, home, humor, i, journey, life, never, parents, stop, understand, understanding, wanted, where, work

• Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  anything, communication, humor, open, open up, opening, police, relationship, say, talk, talking, used, warning, woman

• If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  1, anniversary, anything, bad, bad luck, ever, expectations, gift, gifts, going, humor, luck, marriage, scratch, scratch ticket, ticket, wife, win, worst

• Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  adventure, anything, curiosity, exploration, fun, going, hole, rabbit, rabbit hole, request, wants

• According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  anything, believe, humor, irony, people, perception, research, skepticism, study

• I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  anything, bad, bad hair day, black, black cape, cape, day, hair, humor, incorrect, incorrect part, incorrectly, lights, me, never, parted, sadness, salon, seen, self-deprecation, under, wet, wet hair

• I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  anything, before, breakfast, coffee, conversation, diet, humor, i, me, morning, new, where

• Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  anything, beautiful, beautiful thing, feel, miss, nothing, sleep, thing, wrong

• Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  anything, ever, frustration, hot, humor, i, irony, lawsuits, me, misunderstanding, rage, revelation, show, Suits, television, wear, white

• Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

  ---

  3 weeks ago

  airport, anything, asked, coke, expensive, food, food pricing, humor, i, joke, just, me, paid, pricing, sandwich, security, seen, start, travel, unusual

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌