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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

24 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Live now on Telegram:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Making waves on WeChat:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Going viral on Facebook:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Spotted on WeChat:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Just landed via Threads:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Reported on Pinterest:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Home » Funny Appointments Quotes

Funny appointments quotes

New funny appointments quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Commentary:
Looks like she really knows how to make a trip to the doctor's office unforgettable! 💸🍔🔪😂 But hey, at least your wallet got a workout along with your arm! 💪💉 #MedicalDrama
6 months ago
Share →: Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Commentary:
"Dentist appointments feel like a strange blind date – except instead of a romantic dinner, it's a root canal 😬🦷 Let's hope they don't find any skeletons in your closet… I mean, your mouth! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym when you can burn calories just from hearing about someone else's jam-packed schedule? 💪⏰🤯"

For even more funny appointments quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny appointments quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

24 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Going viral on Discord:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Trending via Discord:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Going viral on TikTok:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Going viral on Threads:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Just shared via Discord:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

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