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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Making waves on X:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Going bananas on Slack:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Going bananas on Discord:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Funny appointments quotes

Funny appointments quotes bring a hilarious twist to those everyday calendar moments 📅😂 Whether you’re running late, double-booked, or just can’t resist hitting snooze, these witty lines add some much-needed humor to your schedule ⏰🤣 Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your planner, get ready to laugh through the chaos of appointments and meetings! 🎉🕒

New funny appointments quotes 👇

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

0

2 months ago

6, adulthood, appointment, appointments, closing, closing time, every, full, full-time job, i, job, management, never, place, schedule, thing, time, time management, understand, work
Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

0

2 months ago

apology, appointment, appointments, call, calls, depression, embarrassing, embarrassment, fog, health, lift, mental, mental health, miss, phone, phone call, return, sometimes, tour, whole
She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

0

2 months ago

appointment, appointments, arm, doctor, fat, hate, humor, i, me, money, stab
Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

0

2 months ago

appointments, around, awkward, bit, dentist, humor, meet, mouth, nice, root, weird
Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

0

2 months ago

activity, appointments, busy, busy life, exhausted, full, i, just, life, overcommitted, people, reading, social, social life

All funny appointments quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

62 shares on Slack this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Just landed via Slack:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Shared recently on X:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Trending via Instagram:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Trending via Twitch:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Trending via Snapchat:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Spotted on Facebook:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

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