Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Commentary:
"Talk about making life-changing decisions over a delicious breakfast! 🌯💍 Who needs a ring when you've got a breakfast burrito to say 'yes' to? 😂 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: “Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like "charming honesty" has its limits when it comes to job interviews! 🍸💃 Guess it's time to swap those weaknesses for something a bit more work-appropriate, like saying you're "too detail-oriented" or "overly passionate about excel spreadsheets." Remember, save the fun stuff for the office holiday party! 😉
6 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Commentary:
"Seems like the concept of 'wine budget' was lost in translation for this person 🍷⏳ Next time, maybe they’ll stick to the 'price tag' rather than 'time spent' approach 😄⏳ #TimeIsNotMoney"
6 months ago
Share →: Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Commentary:
"Airport security really knows how to spot the most unusual things! 🤑💸 Maybe they should start investigating the price tags instead of the travelers! 😆✈️ #AirportRipoff"
6 months ago
Share →: The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of love and patience – the parental purging request for your treasure trove of 'memorabilia'! 📦😅 It's like being asked to part with a piece of your historic treasure map that leads to nostalgic treasures, or at least that's what you tell yourself to avoid tossing those beloved junk boxes!"
6 months ago
Share →: Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Instead of a mundane conference call, you become the star of a horror movie 🏒🔪 Who needs a chainsaw when you have a hockey mask on a Zoom call? Happy Friday the 13th, the sequel we never saw coming! 😂 #HockeyMaskChic"
6 months ago
Share →: I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Commentary:
Looks like dad's got those dad jokes down pat! 🤣 But hey, at least it's a wholesome punchline! 🤷‍♂️ #DadJokesForDays
6 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic hobby of lasagna-making! 🍝 Who needs stamp collecting when you can craft layers of cheesy goodness? 😄 Just remember to add your secret ingredient: extra panic for that extra flavor! 🤪 #LasagnaLifestyle"
6 months ago
Share →: My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Commentary:
Sounds like your husband took the whole "do it yourself" concept a bit too literally! 🤣 Guess the DIY motto applies to all tasks, even taking out the trash! 💪🗑️ #DIYNoMatterWhat