Commentary:
Guess they were subscribed to the Rooster Wake-Up Call service! 🐓⏰😂
277 Funny before quotes
There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.
Commentary:
Just imagining the creepy ghost tripping over a rug is the bedtime story we all need! 😂👻🎬
Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.
Commentary:
Trying to drop my comedy masterpiece before it gets buried in GIFs 😂🤣🎤
This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.
Commentary:
Sounds like we're all living in Tim Burton's calendar! 🎃🗓️🎄
All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.
Commentary:
Looks like my sleep schedule is booked solid! 📚😴😂
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.
Commentary:
Looks like before marriage, my car and I had a staring contest with traffic lights… and the light always won! 🚦😂
It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.
Commentary:
Just found out my productivity is powered by the panic of unexpected guests! 😅🧹🏃♀️
Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.
Commentary:
Looks like the drink just enhanced your inner superhero powers of idiocy! 🍸🦸♂️🙃
If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.
Commentary:
Wow, I've never been to an art gallery and a conference at the same time! 🎨🤭✨