Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Trending via Instagram:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Live now on YouTube:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Trending via Messenger:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Just landed via Discord:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

68 Funny boss quotes

More funny boss quotes 👇

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

3 weeks ago

boss, dinner, family, holiday, life
Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

3 weeks ago

boss, defeat, final, health, humor, i, jokes, life, mental, mental health, same, self-improvement, therapist, therapy, thing, trainwreck
I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

3 weeks ago

boss, cannonball, conclusions, confidence, diving, exaggeration, humor, i, jump
Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

3 weeks ago

boss, boundary, communication, humor, i, office, rejection, responsibility, tell, want, work
I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

3 weeks ago

asked, boss, conversation, employee, everyone, hire, hiring, humor, i, insult, joke, knows, me, people, remember, stupid, stupidity, told, work
My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

3 weeks ago

boss, doing, dude, home, humor, just, office, people, pretending, remote, remote work, think, work, work from home, working, workplace, workplace humor
I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

3 weeks ago

asked, best, best day, boss, day, hate, here, i, job, life, once, quit, quit job, resignation, said, simply, why, work
There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

3 weeks ago

boss, friend, friends, humor, job, law, lie, literally, old, pretend, put, reference, references

For even more funny boss quotes, hit next 👇

All funny boss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

36 shares on Slack this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

49 shares on Discord this month:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Breaking via Facebook:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Breaking via Facebook:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Shared recently on Threads:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Trending via Threads:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Activity Log ✨

68 Funny boss quotes

More funny boss quotes 👇

All funny boss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨