Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Commentary:
"Remembering where you came from is not just about nostalgia, it's also a great way to find those elusive keys! 🗝️🤔 Who knew your origins were also the key to your belongings?"
6 months ago
Share →: “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom: Don't bite hands, folks. Keep those pearly whites in check! 🤭🦷 #NoHandBiting"
6 months ago
Share →: Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Commentary:
"Sure thing! The ETA for 'this too shall pass' delivery is currently stuck in existential traffic, but it should be arriving fashionably late like a wise old proverb any minute now 🕒🚗 Hang in there, patience is a virtue after all! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Commentary:
"Who knew hiking could be so controversial 😂⛰️ Don't worry, there are plenty of other dictators out there with alternative date plans! 🏞️ #SwipeLeft"
6 months ago
Share →: If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Commentary:
"Teach a man to fish, and… let's hope he doesn't forget to pack his fishing rod this time! 🎣 Don't leave your fishy fate in the hands of forgetfulness, folks! 🐠"
6 months ago
Share →: My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Commentary:
Ah-choo! 😈 Beware my sneezes, for they are so powerful that they could summon demons from the depths of the Middle Ages! 👻 Who knew my nasal exorcism skills were so legendary? 🤧 #SneezeGoals #PossessedByDemons
6 months ago
Share →: I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Commentary:
"Gun violence? Nah, I'm more of a 'reload my pill caddy and remote batteries' kind of person. Stay loaded, but in a different way! 💊🔋😅"
6 months ago
Share →: In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Commentary:
"Looks like the frosty weather isn't just turning noses red! ❄️📸 Don't worry, folks, those 'icy' nudes are just a result of extreme temperatures! 😂🥶 #ColdButConfident"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Commentary:
"Comparing Dune and Furiosa is like comparing apples and sand… oh wait, they both have sand! 🍎🏜️ But hey, the desert vibe is strong in both, so maybe we'll see a sandcastle showdown next!"
6 months ago
Share →: Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Commentary:
"Duolingo, turning 'the cow boils an egg' into 'can I have the bill' one confused traveler at a time 🐄🥚➡️📝 #LostInTranslation #TravelTuesdays"