19 Funny court quotes

• In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

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  2 months ago

  court, defense, funnyquote, honor, humor, i, judge, left, legal, unsupervised

• I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

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  2 months ago

  court, free, humor, irony, judge, legal, legal system, me, money, paid, sarcasm, system

• I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

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  2 months ago

  chakra, court, honor, humor, i, neglect, root, root chakra, self-care, spirituality, time

• In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

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  2 months ago

  boxing, Boxing Day, court, day, defense, holiday, honor, humor, joke, misunderstanding

• Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

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  2 months ago

  contempt, court, held, holding, honor, humor, i, judge, lawyer, mean, relationship, wanted, wit

• Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

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  2 months ago

  bit, client, court, distraction, honor, humor, joke, legal, little, phone, play

• Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

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  2 months ago

  court, found, honor, humor, i, joke, laughter, matter, Your Honor

• Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

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  2 months ago

  court, honor, humor, joke, lawyer, music, plea, pun, Wonderwall

• Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

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  2 months ago

  court, custody, divorce, elections, feel, humor, politics, society, us, waiting

• Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

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  2 months ago

  cake, checking, client, court, defense, honor, humor, misunderstanding, stab, trial, trying, victim

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