Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I donโ€™t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Facebook:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Making waves on Instagram:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Going viral on Facebook:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Trending via TikTok:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I need a job where I donโ€™t actually have to work.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Spotted on Slack:

By now, weโ€™ve all figured out that these LED bulbs donโ€™t actually last 15 years, but weโ€™ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next ๐Ÿ‘‡

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
โœจ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

83 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Itโ€™s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. Youโ€™re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, โ€œit shouldโ€™ve been youโ€

28 shares on Twitch this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they โ€œcanโ€™t make it to the phone right now.โ€ You carry the phone with you. Itโ€™s the only constant in your life.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Some people are like wallpaperโ€ฆ same pattern repeating every time.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I downloaded a meditation app. Now Iโ€™m stressed about missing sessions.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If a girl sends you selfies and you donโ€™t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Mixed signals mean they donโ€™t like you like that. Itโ€™s that simple.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that youโ€™re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now Iโ€™m fat and dumb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Imagine hating on me and Iโ€™m just in my room also hating on me.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Messenger:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Seen just now on Threads:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Just shared via Reddit:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Just landed via WeChat:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Going bananas on Slack:

I said it was my favorite show, I didnโ€™t say it was good.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Just landed via Facebook:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I donโ€™t go camping.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด