615 Funny day quotes

• “AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

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  2 weeks ago

  AI, check, coming, day, emails, fantasy, fantasy football, football, hours, humor, ID, jobs, life, office, office life, productivity, send, technology, work

• And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

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  2 weeks ago

  again, carpet, celebrity, day, disappointment, expectation, guys, humor, once, red, red carpet

• Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

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  2 weeks ago

  activity, dad, day, days, energy, fun, fun activity, home, kids, leave, much, rainy, rainy day, shopping, too

• Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

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  2 weeks ago

  bun, day, enough, exercise, hair, humor, just, lazy, lazy day, put, self-care, today, workout

• We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

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  2 weeks ago

  car, cars, conservation, day, electric, electric car, environment, humor, i, nobody, planet, responsibility, row, unplug

• I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

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  2 weeks ago

  Andropov, day, driver, humor, i, joke, name, Pikup, Russian, Uber

• Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

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  2 weeks ago

  communication, day, expression, getting, humor, i, know, lawn, lawn sign, opinion, people, sign, think, today

• I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

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  2 weeks ago

  along, am, day, easy, exactly, expectations, fun, fun person, humor, i, imagination, interruption, layout, person, planned, planning, variation

• Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

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  2 weeks ago

  day, day off, done, holiday, humor, kids, parenting, sarcasm, shit, veteran’s, Veteran’s Day, work

• Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

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  2 weeks ago

  appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test

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