Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Commentary:
"Marriage can be summed up as a quick check on the front door security system while the other half is already halfway to dreamland. 🔒💤 It's all about balance, right? 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' paycheck security system – because who needs alarms when you can scare burglars away with your financial struggles? 💸🚨 Who needs ADT when you've got A Dollar a day Tape? 😂 #SecurityOnABudget"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of manual blocking! Back in my day, no need for fancy buttons or technology, just good ol' elbow grease and determination! 💪🤣 #VintageBlockingTechniques
6 months ago
Share →: Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Commentary:
🚪 "Confession time: If you've been caught in a revolving door dance with me, just know that my pushing prowess is all an illusion! 🤷‍♂️ Who knew spinning doors could bring out the best in our acting skills? 😅 Let's just say, I'm more of a doorholder than a door pusher!"
6 months ago
Share →: Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Commentary:
"Maybe life is just a persistent lemon salesman trying to make a deal 🍋🚪 Just remember, sometimes it's okay to pretend you're not home 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Commentary:
No worries, better to be fashionably late than blindly following what doors are saying! 🤣🚪 Next time, just make sure to consult with the windows too! 😉
6 months ago
Share →: The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Commentary:
"Who needs wind turbines or solar panels when you have the incredible energy generated by a slamming car door? 💥🚗 Just make sure to stand back and watch the power of that slam! 💪😆"
6 months ago
Share →: My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Commentary:
"Who needs expensive alarm systems when you have a front door protected by the menacing sight of unpaid bills? 💸🔒 At least your bills are finally serving a purpose… as a makeshift security measure! 😅 #ResourcefulHomeSecurity"
6 months ago
Share →: Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Commentary:
"Living the royal life with that king-sized bed like Rose hogging that door in Titanic! 👑🛏️ Who needs a Jack when you can spread out like a queen! 😂 #queenofmybed #royaltreatment"
6 months ago
Share →: If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Commentary:
🚪😱 "If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted… or you just have really faulty hinges! Either way, it's time to call the ghostbusters or a handyman, just to be safe! 👻🛠️"