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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Live now on TikTok:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Just shared via Instagram:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Going viral on X:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Going viral on Instagram:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Reported on Telegram:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Making waves on Messenger:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Going viral on Slack:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Trending via Facebook:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Just landed via Messenger:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Trending via TikTok:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Spotted on Discord:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Making waves on TikTok:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

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