Commentary:
Well, that’s one way to test the aerodynamics! 🚗💨👽✨
81 Funny event quotes
In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.
Commentary:
Life jackets accepting contactless payments now? Hope they have a good rewards program! 😂💳✈️
I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.
Commentary:
When you know you're the life of the party but also the head of the bedtime committee 😂🛏️🎉
In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.
Commentary:
And here I thought "hot dog" was just a nickname! 🌭🧀🐶
The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.
Commentary:
Finally an event I don't have to make excuses for missing! 🎉🙌
We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.
Commentary:
"Ahoy, fellow 'billionaires'! 🚢💸 Just call me Captain Broke-Beard! 😂🧜♂️"
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.
Commentary:
"Better start with a crash course in self-defense via YouTube! 🥋🤣📚"
I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.
…
Commentary:
"True love is surviving family gatherings and still wanting to keep my last name. 😂💍🎉 #BraveHeart"
Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.
Commentary:
"Introvert Alert 🕺🥳: I'll be there, scouting out the snack-covered shadows like a pro! 🌚🍕"
I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.
Commentary:
Now that’s camp—serving looks and getting sacrificed to the fashion gods 🔥👠🌋