118 Funny excuse quotes

• The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

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  3 weeks ago

  always, answer, excuse, exhaustion, humor, i, sleep, tiredness

• ‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

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  3 weeks ago

  avocado, cancelling, excuse, favorite, home, i, plans, ripe

• The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

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  3 weeks ago

  calling, cough, excuse, fake, fake cough, humor, i, iTunes, sick, work

• I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

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  3 weeks ago

  activity, eat, ever, excuse, fear, hour, humor, i, last, never, procrastination, swim, think

• There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

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  3 weeks ago

  excuse, finding, humor, know, laziness, let, let me know, me, procrastination

• Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

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  3 weeks ago

  circumstance, circumstances, control, excuse, humor, i, irony, late, procrastination, well

• Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

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  3 weeks ago

  car, driving, excuse, humor, i, joke, just, limit, officer, speed, speed limit, traffic, yes

• Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

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  3 weeks ago

  brother, died, excuse, fish, friend, friends, grandpa, grandson, humor, i, mother, sister, sorry, today, tragedy, uncle

• Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

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  3 weeks ago

  air, air quotes, excuse, hands, help, humor, i, move, moving, sorry

• You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

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  3 weeks ago

  aging, excuse, experience, growing, growing up, humor, life, think, young, youth

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