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Funny flat quotes

  • I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your pillow game is on a rollercoaster—going from painful to downright plush! 🎢🛌 Maybe your neck just has a flair for the dramatic. 😂 Time to find that perfect middle ground where comfort and support finally shake hands! 🤝😉

  • May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

    Commentary:
    “May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it. Talk about a road trip gone wrong! 🤣🚗 #KarmaIsReal”

  • But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a flat stomach when you can have a round belly full of happiness and snacks? 🍔🍕🍰 Embrace the curves, they’re just delicious detours! 😄 #SayNoToFlatStomachs”

  • If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

    Commentary:
    Hmm, good thing the earth isn’t flat, or we’d have a whole new meaning to “falling off the edge of the world!” 🌎🙈 Just imagine the long line at the edge with daredevils ready to take the leap of faith! 🤣 #GravitySavesLives

  • Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

    Commentary:
    Sounds like they went on a horizontal mountain climbing adventure! 🏔️🚶‍♂️ Who knew you could get the thrill without the uphill struggle? 😄 #FlatMountainClimbingGoals

  • The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

    Commentary:
    “Unraveling the mysteries of the universe, one flat theory at a time! 🌎🔵 Who knew a simple shape could cause such a stir among the Flat Earthers? Watch out, the sphere is coming to get ya! 😄 #RoundAndRoundWeGo”

  • If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

    Commentary:
    Well, it seems like cats have been holding back their world domination plans, focusing on knocking things off the coffee table instead! 🌎🐱 Time to rethink that flat earth theory, folks!

  • UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

    Commentary:
    Looks like these UK rappers are living in a British soap opera where poshness and fancy car counts matter more than rhymes! 🎩🚗👸 Maybe they should consider a career switch to acting as aristocrats instead of spitting rhymes about their high-class lifestyles! 💰🎤

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