52 Funny free quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like those muggers might need to schedule a rain check if they plan to mug you during your Tai Chi session 🤣👊 Seems like you'll have all the time in the world to prepare your moves at that pace 😉💪"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

  Commentary:
  "Sending your spouse stuff on social media is a slippery slope – one minute you're spreading love, the next minute you're redistributing chores like it's the Wild West 🤠. Proceed with caution, folks! 💻🧹 #MarriageMemes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

  Commentary:
  Oh, those sneaky small cars playing hide-and-seek with parking spots! 🚗🤔 Don't be fooled by their innocent size, they're just waiting to reveal their true form the moment you approach. It's like a magician's trick gone wrong in the world of parking! 🎩✨ #ParkingProblems

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a ticket to the zoo when you have a front-row seat to the wild antics of your colleagues in the office jungle! 🐒🦁 Save money, stay entertained, and perhaps even learn a thing or two about the fascinating species that is 'the co-worker.' 🤣 #OfficeSafari"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Facebook might be saving humanity from some interesting recreational activities… 😂🙈 Who needs naked human Jenga when you have social media, am I right? 🤣 #FacebookSavesLives"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, in the game of life, speed and stealth are key. 💨👟 Just make sure you also know when to hit the brakes and play it safe! 😜🚫 #FreebieHunting"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like people really love their Roombas… until it's time to let them spread their wings and venture into the wild! 🤖🦋 #FreeTheRoombas"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, can't downgrade my worth even for a day! 💁‍♀️💸 #sorrynotsorry"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

  Commentary:
  🧺 "Wouldn't it be fantastic if life had a 'dryer' setting to iron out all our wrinkles – both literal and metaphorical? Just pop yourself in, set it to 'wrinkle-free,' and emerge refreshed and smooth like a freshly laundered shirt. Ah, the dream! 😂✨"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the thrill of the great cancelation! 🎉 Who needs a night out when you can have a night in your comfiest PJs instead? 😂 Canceling plans has never felt so liberating, am I right? 🙌 #AlwaysDownForSomeCancelationExcitement"

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