Home » Funny Health Quotes » Page 21

237 Funny health quotes

Trending Funny Health Quotes 🔥

More funny health quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old phone booths – the original training ground for our immune systems! 📞💪 Who needs a flu shot when you've braved the germs lurking in those tiny spaces? 😂 #RIPPhoneBooths #ImmuneSystemBootcamp
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Commentary:
"Looks like patience weighs more than we thought! 🤣 Maybe try a 'lose your patience' diet next time, it seems more effective! 🍩🕰️ #DietFail"
5 months ago
Share →: Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Commentary:
"Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week. Because let's be real, a glass of wine or two magically transforms into just 'occasional sips' during a health check-up! 🍷😉 #HealthHacks #CheersToGoodHealth"
5 months ago
Share →: I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took the doctor's advice quite literally! 🍬👩‍⚕️ Moving sugar to a lower shelf counts as reducing sugar intake, right? Sometimes you just gotta take matters into your own hands…or pantry shelves! 😄 #SweetSolutions
5 months ago
Share →: I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Commentary:
"Who knew taking the high road could lead to the high sugar levels? 🍦🍰 Next time, it's okay to be the 'sweet' person instead! 😉 #SugarRush #LifeLessons"
5 months ago
Share →: The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of laziness saving us from insanity! 🤪 Procrastination: Keeping mental breakdowns at bay since forever! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Commentary:
"Looks like they're really pushing for a 'movement' this week! 🏃‍♂️💩 Just remember, in the battle against diarrhea, it's all about endurance… and plenty of bathroom breaks! 🚽😆 #StayRegular"
5 months ago
Share →: Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Commentary:
"Remember, behind every smiling face lies a hidden struggle. And if you want to add more drama to their day, just casually drop in the hydration reminder – that'll really keep the battle interesting! 💧😅 #ThirstyForSomeLaughs"
5 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Commentary:
Looks like your doctor is speaking in code – with a side of humor! 🌮🍟 Who can resist the siren call of Taco Bell over the golden arches? You're on your way to a healthier diet, one crunchy taco at a time! 🌮🤣 #TacoTuesdayGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Commentary:
Looks like someone has got their dose of Ibuprofen ready to keep those posts nice and chilled! 😂🔥 Remember, a little bit of humor is the best anti-inflammatory out there! #KeepItCool