Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,036

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Making waves on TikTok:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Spotted on TikTok:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Just shared via Reddit:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love having plans to cancel.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Home » home » Page 27

268 Funny home quotes

More funny home quotes 👇

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

0

5 months ago

after, car, home, humor, men, minutes, question, stay, waiting, why
Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

0

5 months ago

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth
My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

0

5 months ago

comment, comments, concern, concerns, criticism, decor, deep, home, home decor, humor
Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

0

5 months ago

board, decor, fear, home, home decor, house, humor, marriage, Pinterest, relationship, scary, want
Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

0

5 months ago

anxiety, big, boundary, causing, coming, cortisol, home, house, humor, mood, stress, wellness
I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

0

5 months ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, celebrity, clothes, clothing, comfort, home, humor, i, love, outfit, put, sandler
Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

0

5 months ago

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

0

5 months ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work

For even more funny home quotes, hit next 👇

All funny home quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

15 shares on X this month:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

10 shares on Discord this month:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

55 shares on Threads this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Spotted on Twitch:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Just landed via TikTok:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Just landed via YouTube:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Making waves on Instagram:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Going viral on TikTok:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Activity Log ✨

268 Funny home quotes

More funny home quotes 👇

All funny home quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨