Commentary:
Looks like Mercury missed the memo about being a planet and decided to try out for a horror movie instead! 🌌👻🔮
14856 Funny humor quotes
“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”
Commentary:
Trying to juggle cassette tapes and MP3 playlists like a true time-traveling DJ! 🎧😂🤷♂️
Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.
Commentary:
Guess being exposed to fluorescent lighting for 40 hours a week really warms up the workplace, huh? 🔥🏢😅
Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.
Commentary:
When you don't know what to do with your hands in photos, join a gang, or just hold a taco! 🌮🤘😎
I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.
Commentary:
Rolling with style from the basement to the bottom floor! 😂📉⬇️
When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.
Commentary:
Looks like some people took "no dumb questions" as an Olympic sport! 🏅🤔😅
Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, turn up the heat and let the algorithm serve the lemonade! 🔥😎📱
I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.
Commentary:
"Unleashing my brainwaves on the internet like a digital confetti cannon! 🎉🧠💥"
Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.
Commentary:
Naming her 'Cafeteria' means she'll always serve up a full plate of sass 🍽️😄
I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.
Commentary:
Fruits and fashion—the ultimate combo for sweet success! 🍉👗😄