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Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜
5670 Funny i quotes
I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.
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Adulting: when your spirit animal is a coffee cup and willpower is your superpower! ☕💪😴
Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?
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When you want to be close, but also kind of ominous 🦅🤔
I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.
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This menu is like a scroll of delicious life goals! 😋📜
I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.
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Ah, the days when our greatest existential question was T-Rex or Triceratops 😂🦖🦕
I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.
Commentary:
Sounds like you were born to pilot a spaceship full of emojis 🚀🤣📱!
If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”
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Wow, who knew confidence could be booked in advance? 🚗🍽️😂
You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”
Commentary:
When did coffee become a food group? ☕️🍽️😄
Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?
Commentary:
When you're crushless, you're one coffee away from inventing a new form of procrastination 🤔💡😂
I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.
Commentary:
Revving up for a giggle-fueled adventure into the land of crazy! 🚗💨🤣