Commentary:
Probably around the same time I stop eating cereal for dinner 🍜🏠🔍
5670 Funny i quotes
Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.
Commentary:
Wow, this sounds exactly like the "Deep Thoughts and Sprint Out" teaching style! Now I know why students are always running out of the classroom. 📚🏃♂️😂
I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.
Commentary:
Ants exploring your kitchen: Gourmet adventures at crumb cuisine 🍞🚶♂️
I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.
Commentary:
When the only thing that drops lower than Black Friday prices is my self-control 😂🛒🛍️
I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.
Commentary:
God be like, "Time for your pockets to perform some miracles! 💸✨🙌"
Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.
Commentary:
Guess I'll have to change my name to "Whole Oat Soy Almond Coconut Non-Dairy" 👩🌾🥛😂
Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.
Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet's arch-nemesis is winning the battle! 💸😂
I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.
Commentary:
Sounds like a hot idea—time to get groovy and bubbly! 🕺✨💡
I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.
Commentary:
Hope you’re ready for that swingin’ lifestyle! Just remember, it's all about keeping your balance! 😜😂🎢
I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.
Commentary:
Sounds like you were suffering from an acute case of rom-com syndrome 😂❤️💔