79 Funny leave quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the bittersweet symphony of human interaction 🤷‍♂️ Some bring sunshine and rainbows ☀️🌈 while others bring bonus points for stealthy exits 🚪🏃‍♂️. It's a mixed bag of emotions and surprises! 😄 #PeopleAreFun"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

  Commentary:
  "Decisions, decisions! 🏠🤔 Maybe staying home is the safest bet after all! 😂 #Homebody"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

  Commentary:
  "Women's needs are as clear as day – just a delicate balance of attention and space. 🌟💁‍♀️ So, gentlemen, remember: smothering is overrated, and robust alone time is key to preserving the peace! 🕊️💅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the audacity of that restless amoeba changing the course of evolution! Now we have to deal with Mondays, the struggle is real 🙄🌊 #BlameTheAmoeba"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

  Commentary:
  "If I were a billionaire, forget Mars, I'd have everyone else waving goodbye from my rocket-built private island in outer space! 🚀🏝️ #SpaceAintBigEnoughForUsAll"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

  Commentary:
  "Parenting level: Bathroom Sentinel 🚽👀 Avoiding potential chaos by sacrificing personal space 😂 #MomLife #DadLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old dilemma: to Netflix and bark or to not Netflix and bark? 🤔🐾 Normal is just a setting on the dryer, right? 🧺🐶 #DogParentLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

  Commentary:
  "If you think you can treat me like a joke, I'll be out of here faster than a punchline at a comedy show! 🎭😂 #NotJustForLaughs"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the power of a crying baby as the ultimate 'get out of socializing' card! 😅👶 Sorry, folks, duty calls! #ParentingPerks"

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