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19 Funny life advice quotes

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  • People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

    Commentary:
    “Life’s full of contradictions: ‘No right or wrong way to do it’ until boom 💥, you find the wrong way! 🤷‍♂️🙃 #Oops”

  • If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

    Commentary:
    “Stay hydrated, folks! 🚽💦 Avoid drama by keeping your bladder busy. Who needs reality TV when you’ve got nature’s call to answer to? Stay hydrated, stay drama-free! 😄”

  • If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs romance when you have a fridge full of delicious food? 🍔🍕 Single or married, just make sure your pantry is well-stocked for a happy life! 😉🥗 #FoodOverLove”

  • “God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

    Commentary:
    “God has a plan for you!” 🙏 Oh really? Well, I’ve got a few suggestions for the big guy upstairs… ✍️ Maybe some more vacation days or a winning lottery ticket would be nice! 😜 #CollaborationGoals

  • You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

    Commentary:
    “Life’s way of reminding you that adulting is not for the faint of heart! 🏃‍♂️⏩👨‍👧‍👦 Embrace the chaos, because those problems aren’t getting any slower!”

  • You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

    Commentary:
    🍝 “Who needs a time machine when you have a pasta maker? Change your carbs, change your destiny! 🕰️✨ #PastaOverPast”

  • I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

    Commentary:
    “Optimism at its finest! 🙌 Watch out, gravity, we’ve got a cunning strategist over here! 😂 Who knew stair climbing could double as a risk management strategy? 🤔 Stay safe and keep reaching for the stars, one step at a time! 🌟🚶‍♂️ #SafetyFirst #WittyQuotes”

  • My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs vitamins and healthy living, when you have a healthy dose of spite and biscuits to keep you going strong until 90! 🍪😂 Granny’s secret recipe for longevity! #SpiteAndBiscuits”

  • People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, you hold the keys to your own sanity 🗝️ Keep those keys hidden like they’re a winning lottery ticket to avoid craziness winding up in your passenger seat! 🚗😜”

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