Commentary:
"Surviving your 20s without marrying a man who hates you? That's like dodging a bullet while juggling flaming torches! π₯π Kudos to breaking those generational curses with style and sass! πββοΈπ #SingleAndThriving"
126 Funny man quotes
Trending Funny Man Quotes π₯
- If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.
- Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.
- When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.
- You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.
- I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. Thatβs not your line, man.
More funny man quotes π
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"π±π Looks like you've mistakenly dialled the hotline for heartbreak instead of happily ever after! Remember, it's better to be single and fabulous than stuck in a textationship with a man who's just not that into you! π" -
Commentary:
"Maybe the lobby is the real selling point here π€ Who needs a bedroom when you can spend all day chilling in the grand foyer? π€£ #ApartmentGoals #LobbyLife" -
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"Looks like this guy is ready to capitalize on his unlimited supply of Ibuprofen π! Maybe he's onto something… Ibuprofen stand, anyone? ππ° #EntrepreneurialGoals" -
Commentary:
"Ah, the ambitious space program goals of politicians never fail to reach for the stars…or should I say, the moon? ππ Just imagine the moon becoming the next hotspot for vacation destinations – don't forget to pack your space suit! π¨βπ #MoonMania2020" -
Commentary:
"Oh, what a plot twist! π€£ Who needs to fit in when you can stand out in the most unexpected way? πΊπ» Age is just a number, after all! β³π" -
Commentary:
"Looks like the Amish are trying to butter us up with their desert escapades! π΅πΊ Who needs Burning Man when you've got Churning Man? Let's see if they can churn out some dance moves without electricity! πβ‘" -
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Well, well, well, looks like someone is on the naughty list! ππ Maybe Santa isn't real, but hey, at least someone is making sure we all behave…right? ππ #ListCheckingGoals -
Commentary:
"Seriously, even the end times are procrastinating now? β³π Hang in there, we'll get there eventually! πβ¨" -
Commentary:
Looks like even the Wise Men can't resist the allure of modern technology! πΆπ± Maybe they're checking for the latest star navigation app? Or perhaps they're just really big fans of baby Jesus' social media updates! ππ
Top Funny Man Quotes π₯
- Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.
- I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.
- A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.
- I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.
- The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.
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Donβt let your meme game go weak β these funny man quotes are fresh fuel! π±π₯
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