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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Making waves on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Going viral on Telegram:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Going viral on Twitch:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Going viral on Slack:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Spotted on Twitch:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Shared recently on Discord:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Just shared via X:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Making waves on Telegram:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Shared recently on TikTok:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

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