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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Freshly posted on X:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Going viral on TikTok:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Live now on Telegram:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Trending via Telegram:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Trending via Facebook:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Trending via YouTube:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Funny nicer quotes

Funny nicer quotes bring a smile 😄 while spreading good vibes 🌈! They blend humor with kindness, making your day brighter and your heart lighter 💖. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding a sprinkle of joy to your feed ✨. Ready to laugh and feel warm inside? Let’s dive into those witty words that are as sweet as they are silly! 😂💬

New funny nicer quotes 👇

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

4 weeks ago

humor, just, media, much, news, nicer, nicer place, place, positivity, turn, world
I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

1 month ago

3, after, afternoon, Friday, Fridays, humor, mood, niceness, nicer, personality, time
I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

1 month ago

appearance, attractiveness, being, easier, going, hotter, humor, just, motivation, nicer, personality, sarcasm, self-confidence
It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

1 month ago

closer, connection, distance, friend, friendship, Funny, humor, important, life, lived, meet, meeting, nicer, online, online friend, someone
It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

1 month ago

behavior, death, die, every, going, humanity, irony, kindness, mortality, nicer, single, social, social behavior, us, weird

All funny nicer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

48 shares on Slack this month:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

78 shares on Twitch this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Spotted on WeChat:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Seen just now on Slack:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Spotted on Pinterest:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

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