265 Funny night quotes

• I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

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  2 months ago

  adulting, change, check, day, forecast, good, humor, i, laundry, life, life change, next, night, party, priorities, used, weather

• Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

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  2 months ago

  asleep, calculations, fall, fall asleep, humor, insomnia, math, night, rest, right, skills, sleep, spend

• My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

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  2 months ago

  lazy, morning, nap, night, sleep, tired

• Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

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  2 months ago

  always, back, bed, bedtime, creature, humor, kid, night, parenting, sleep, thirstiest, times, whole, world

• You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

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  2 months ago

  experience, fear, humor, middle, midnight, never, night, poster, surprise, true, wall

• Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

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  2 months ago

  distraction, humor, i, insomnia, internet, late, late night, night, people, sleep, technology

• I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

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  2 months ago

  9pm, born, fun, humor, i, night, party, tired, wild

• I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

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  2 months ago

  excitement, humor, i, last, lottery, money, night, peasants, scratch-off, win

• So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

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  2 months ago

  cooking, dinner, every, forever, frustration, humor, i, just, keep, life, making, night, question, routine

• By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

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  2 months ago

  am, day, humor, i, just, loser, night, nighttime, regular, same, self-deprecation

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