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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Breaking via Discord:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Spotted on Reddit:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Spotted on X:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Seen just now on Twitch:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Shared recently on Discord:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Just landed via Reddit:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Shared recently on Slack:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

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