Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Just shared via Threads:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Spotted on Reddit:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Trending via Facebook:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Just shared via Threads:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Breaking via X:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Trending via Pinterest:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Spotted on Threads:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

39 Funny pets quotes

More funny pets quotes 👇

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

1 month ago

animal, boy, comparison, dog, dogs, good, good boy, humor, just, nature, nobody, pets, wolf
How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

1 month ago

absurd, cat, cats, crazy, dare, eve, humor, pets, say, wedding
I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

1 month ago

AI, bad, hope, i, mine, nice, pets, something
There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

1 month ago

behavior, dog, dogs, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, guide, guide dog, humor, life, pet, pet behavior, pets, poop, save
My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

1 month ago

dogs, earthquakes, feel, gas, humor, pets
Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

1 month ago

again, annoying, children’s, children’s shows, dogs, exactly, humor, just, life, life span, live, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, pets, shows, span
Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

1 month ago

chores, dishwasher, dog, dogs, domestic, domestic chores, empty, fold, humor, laundry, never, over, people, pets, practical, practical skills, pretty, roll, sit, skills, train, training, tricks, useful
I’m not alone. I have ants.

1 month ago

alone, ants, companionship, humor, i, loneliness, nature, pets, quirky
Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

1 month ago

allergy, cat, humor, meowlergy, pets, pun, wordplay
Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

1 month ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, funny observation, harvesting, humor, observation, pets, poop, think, weird

For even more funny pets quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pets quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Threads this month:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

55 shares on X this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Spotted on TikTok:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Shared recently on Slack:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Seen just now on Messenger:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Activity Log ✨

39 Funny pets quotes

More funny pets quotes 👇

All funny pets quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨