Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Just landed via Slack:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Just landed via Twitch:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I suffer from awesomnia.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Live now on Slack:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Going bananas on X:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Seen just now on X:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Making waves on Instagram:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Shared recently on Telegram:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Making waves on Reddit:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Live now on Threads:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Just shared via Messenger:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

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