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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Spotted on Twitch:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Shared recently on TikTok:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Trending via Discord:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Home » Funny Pizza Quotes » Page 5

57 Funny pizza quotes

More funny pizza quotes 👇

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, food, humor, knowledge, lasagna, pizza, turtle, turtles
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

0

2 months ago

amore, big, eel, eye, food, humor, knee, love, moon, moray, nature, pizza, rhyme, sea, swim
I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, joke, pics, pizza, start, unsolicited, women
My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

0

2 months ago

eyes, flash, food, humor, just, life, pizza, whole
Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, mad, media, online, online reactions, people, pic, pizza, post, reactions, social, social media, Twitter
My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

0

2 months ago

animation, appreciation, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, humor, i, jerry, kid, music, music appreciation, pizza, real, sadism, tom, Tom & Jerry, watching
The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

0

2 months ago

delivery, everyone, expectation, humor, interaction, joke, pizza, right, say, tomorrow
I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

0

2 months ago

delivery, food, guy, humor, i, never, pizza, priorities, sit, waiting
One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

0

2 months ago

30, adulthood, age, celery, day, diet, eating, food, humor, kale, lunch, pizza, salad
I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

0

2 months ago

dinner, food, health, night, pizza

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

64 shares on X this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

68 shares on X this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Just landed via Reddit:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Breaking via YouTube:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Activity Log ✨

57 Funny pizza quotes

More funny pizza quotes 👇

All funny pizza quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨