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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Just shared via Discord:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Breaking via YouTube:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Going viral on WeChat:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Seen just now on Instagram:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Going viral on Reddit:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Making waves on Discord:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

60 Funny pizza quotes

More funny pizza quotes 👇

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

1 month ago

being, cold, cold pizza, eating, example, freedom, funny situation, humor, kitchen, lifestyle, naked, night, pizza, single, situation, standing, things
Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

1 month ago

bad, bad news, eating, food, good, good news, humor, i, news, pizza, repetition, slice, times
The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

1 month ago

being, double, double vision, drunk, food, humor, joke, just, pizza, realization, realize, seeing, slice, vision, worst
My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

1 month ago

animals, cat, cats, food, humor, knowledge, lasagna, pizza, turtle, turtles
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

1 month ago

amore, big, eel, eye, food, humor, knee, love, moon, moray, nature, pizza, rhyme, sea, swim
I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

1 month ago

dating, humor, joke, pics, pizza, start, unsolicited, women
My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

1 month ago

eyes, flash, food, humor, just, life, pizza, whole
Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

1 month ago

fun, humor, mad, media, online, online reactions, people, pic, pizza, post, reactions, social, social media, Twitter
My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

1 month ago

animation, appreciation, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, humor, i, jerry, kid, music, music appreciation, pizza, real, sadism, tom, Tom & Jerry, Tom and Jerry, watching
The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

1 month ago

delivery, everyone, expectation, humor, interaction, joke, pizza, right, say, tomorrow

For even more funny pizza quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pizza quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Discord this month:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

43 shares on X this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

41 shares on X this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Making waves on Slack:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Seen just now on Discord:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Trending via Discord:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Going viral on Telegram:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Activity Log ✨

60 Funny pizza quotes

More funny pizza quotes 👇

All funny pizza quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨