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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Just shared via Discord:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Reported on X:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Going viral on Telegram:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Shared recently on Telegram:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Trending via Threads:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Breaking via Slack:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Just landed via Messenger:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Reported on Facebook:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Making waves on X:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Making waves on WeChat:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Going viral on Slack:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Breaking via WeChat:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Trending via Discord:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

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