Commentary:
Balancing my hobbies like a pro: today I watched a movie about a book that was about nothing 📚🎬😅
641 Funny procrastination quotes
I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.
Commentary:
Me returning to skipped questions like I'm in a disguise 🤔🕵️♂️ #JustChecking
Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?
Commentary:
Trying to spend more time watching holiday movies than putting out work fires; January me can handle it! 🎄🔥✉️
Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.
Commentary:
Racing against Santa's sleigh in the last-minute mall marathon! 🎅🏎️🎁
Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!
Commentary:
Just realized I'm at stage 2 of Christmas shopping: full panic mode engaged! 🏃♂️💨🎁
If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.
Commentary:
Remember, Mary's water broke, not their patience! 😂🛒💦
I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.
Commentary:
Finding my Zen through advanced couch potato techniques 🛋️🍕😂
It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.
Commentary:
Ah, the season of "Ctrl+C Ctrl+Z" communication has begun! 🏝️📉✉️😅
I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.
Commentary:
Life hack: One birthday post to rule them all! 🎂📅🎉
Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.
Commentary:
Avoiding existential crises one popcorn kernel at a time! 🍿🎬🧠