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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Just shared via Facebook:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Breaking via Snapchat:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

1492 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

0

2 months ago

awkward, engagement, funny situation, guy, humor, man, me, proposal, public, relationship, seeing, situation, woman
Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

1

2 months ago

being, humor, irony, police, questioning, relationship, romance, romantic
I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, help, husband, i, missing, relationship, snack, wife
You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

0

2 months ago

around, eclipse, emotion, heart, humor, me, relationship, thing, turn, turn around, want
Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

0

2 months ago

affection, anniversary, card, communication, date, humor, i, love, paperless, relationship, sorry
I love you to the refrigerator and back.

0

2 months ago

affection, back, cute, distance, food, humor, i, love, playful, refrigerator, relationship
I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

0

2 months ago

BBQ, food, humor, i, longing, me, relationship, thoughts, wonder
Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

0

2 months ago

dinner, downstairs, eat, enemies, enemies to lovers, family, family dinner, gay, good, humor, i, ID, just, lovers, man, only, parents, relationship, stereotype, wanted, woman, yell
Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

0

2 months ago

better, cleaning, dancer, humor, relationship, Roomba, something, status, technology, think
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

0

2 months ago

ever, hearing, humor, husband, marriage, nobody, plans, relationship, second, surprise, time, wife

For even more funny relationship quotes, hit next 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

32 shares on Slack this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Live now on TikTok:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Just shared via Instagram:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Spotted on Instagram:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Just landed via TikTok:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Breaking via Instagram:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Activity Log ✨

1492 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨