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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Just shared via Facebook:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Trending via Twitch:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Making waves on Instagram:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Trending via X:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Going bananas on Reddit:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Live now on Reddit:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Seen just now on Discord:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Funny shocked quotes

Funny shocked quotes are the perfect way to capture those OMG moments 😲 with a hilarious twist 😂! Whether you’re stunned by unexpected news or just love a good laugh when things go sideways, these witty gems will have you snorting with laughter 🤣. Get ready to share some jaw-dropping humor that turns surprise into smiles! 😜✨

New funny shocked quotes 👇

All funny shocked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves should really raise more people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Trending via WeChat:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Just shared via TikTok:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Trending via Reddit:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Spotted on Reddit:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

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