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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Going viral on X:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Your opinions are not my business.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

242 Funny situation quotes

More funny situation quotes 👇

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

3 weeks ago

ever, food, funny situation, house, humor, hunger, hungry, nap, procrastination, relatable, situation, tiredness
Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

3 weeks ago

bar, chugging, drink, funny situation, humor, interaction, joke, nothing, safety, saying, situation, social, social interaction, woman
Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

3 weeks ago

bad, bad idea, beach, dog, funny situation, humor, idea, pet, shark, situation
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

3 weeks ago

advice, coping, dog, eat, handle, humor, just, pee, play, situation, stress, walk
Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

3 weeks ago

clumsy, date, flip, food, food mishap, funny moment, hair, hair flip, humor, just, mishap, moment, onion, onion ring, playful, ring, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation
My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

3 weeks ago

expectations, family, funny situation, humor, mom, opinions, situation, visiting, weekend
Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

3 weeks ago

funny situation, humor, just, mattress, relationship, situation, sleep, wake, wake up, wife
Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

3 weeks ago

awake, dead, humor, nice, situation, sleep, sleeping, win-win
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

3 weeks ago

family, funny situation, good, good people, humor, i, internet, last, night, people, situation, spent, time, time spent, working
The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

3 weeks ago

accident, awkward, awkward situation, bender, car, car accident, driver, driver interaction, fender, fender bender, having, interaction, meet, meeting, new, new person, person, situation, worst

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All funny situation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Making waves on Instagram:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Broadcasted on X:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Breaking via TikTok:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Live now on Discord:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Spotted on X:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Activity Log ✨

242 Funny situation quotes

More funny situation quotes 👇

All funny situation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨