Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Just shared via X:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Spotted on Telegram:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

106 Funny song quotes

More funny song quotes 👇

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

2 months ago

activity, came, excuse, fun, fun activity, grocery, grocery store, humor, late, shopping, song, sorry, store
My brain is 80% song lyrics.

2 months ago

brain, humor, lyrics, memory, music, song, thought
I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

2 months ago

1, activity, alone, complaints, fun, fun activity, i, myself, replay, riding, song, times
To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

2 months ago

dance, food, fun, Himalayan, humor, parody, salt, sea, sea salt, song, tune
Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

2 months ago

after, distraction, hold, humor, me, officer, police, response, situation, song, step, vehicle
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

2 months ago

Christmas, day, gift, Guantanamo, heart, humor, i, irony, last, next, song
Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

2 months ago

activity, close, concert, experience, fun, fun activity, going, grass, heart, hold, i, live, live performance, music, performance, recommend, song, touching
Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

2 months ago

always, another, band, entertainment, humor, much, music, performance, pretty, sarcasm, shit, song
Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

2 months ago

acceptance, age, Alexa, ask, came, classic, classic rock, high, high school, humor, music, nostalgia, play, rock, school, song, technology, truly
Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

2 months ago

activity, confusion, dance, disagreement, fun, fun activity, having, hokey, Hokey Pokey, humor, i, internal, internal disagreement, lyrics, obvious, pokey, say, song

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All funny song quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

68 shares on Twitch this month:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Going viral on Pinterest:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Live now on Pinterest:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Making waves on Telegram:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Live now on Facebook:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Live now on Reddit:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Activity Log ✨

106 Funny song quotes

More funny song quotes 👇

All funny song quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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