And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants. Posted on3 days ago
If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I? Posted on3 days ago
With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche. Posted on3 days ago
I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach. Posted on3 days ago
It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon. Posted on4 days ago
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Posted on4 days ago
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night. Posted on5 days ago