549 funny want quotes - Page 6 - Wordgag

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

May 26, 2026

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

May 26, 2026

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

May 26, 2026

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

May 26, 2026

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

May 26, 2026

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

May 26, 2026

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

May 26, 2026

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

May 26, 2026

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

May 26, 2026

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

May 26, 2026

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

May 26, 2026

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

May 26, 2026

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

May 26, 2026

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

May 26, 2026

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

May 26, 2026

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

May 26, 2026

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

May 26, 2026

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

May 26, 2026

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

May 26, 2026

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

May 26, 2026

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

May 26, 2026

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

May 26, 2026

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

May 26, 2026

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

May 26, 2026

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

May 26, 2026

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

May 26, 2026

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

May 26, 2026

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

May 25, 2026

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

May 25, 2026

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

May 25, 2026

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

May 25, 2026

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

May 25, 2026

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

May 25, 2026

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

May 25, 2026

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

May 25, 2026

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

May 25, 2026

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

May 25, 2026

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

May 25, 2026

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

May 25, 2026

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

May 25, 2026