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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Just landed via X:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Freshly posted on Threads:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Breaking via Instagram:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

337 Funny where quotes

More funny where quotes 👇

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

3 weeks ago

call, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, item, keys, lost, lost item, put, someone, where
I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

3 weeks ago

devastating, everything, home, humor, husband, kitchen, memory, organization, rearranging, relationship, used, where
Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

3 weeks ago

attraction, complicated, dating, flirting, humor, relationships, right, single, things, where
If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

3 weeks ago

birthday, daughter, gift, hiding, humor, i, months, parenting, surprise, where
I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

3 weeks ago

age, happy, happy hour, hour, humor, life, life stage, nap, relaxation, stage, where
Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

3 weeks ago

baby, bite, glasses, humor, i, know, nose, parenting, reputation, where
Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

3 weeks ago

bed, cat, cats, childhood, club, fight, fight club, hide, humor, imagination, monster, monsters, pet, where
Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

3 weeks ago

daily, daily life, forgetfulness, home, humor, left, life, list, shopping, where
Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

3 weeks ago

around, bum, casual, comfort, home, humor, relaxation, walk, where
At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

3 weeks ago

age, aging, big, big break, break, career, hip, humor, life, life transition, mean, perspective, transition, where

For even more funny where quotes, hit next 👇

All funny where quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Threads this month:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

87 shares on Discord this month:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Spotted on Instagram:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Trending via TikTok:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Activity Log ✨

337 Funny where quotes

More funny where quotes 👇

All funny where quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨