Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Just landed via Instagram:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Breaking via Messenger:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Making waves on Telegram:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Spotted on Reddit:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Spreading quickly via X:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Just landed via Messenger:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Funny writers quotes

Funny writers quotes bring a splash of humor to the wild world of writing ✍️😂 Whether you’re battling writer’s block or celebrating that perfect sentence, these witty gems remind us that even wordsmiths love a good laugh 📚🤣 Get ready to chuckle, relate, and maybe even find a little inspiration disguised as comedy! 🎉🖋️

New funny writers quotes 👇

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

0

2 months ago

America, anything, confusion, entertainment, happen, humor, just, know, plot, satire, show, storyline, television, too, TV, TV Show, writer, writers
I get writer’s block responding to people.

0

2 months ago

block, communication, difficulty, humor, i, interaction, people, responding, response, response difficulty, social, social interaction, writer’s block, writers, writing
I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

0

2 months ago

5, entertainment, feel, happen, humor, i, interesting, irony, just, keep, life, making, ridiculous, season, shit, storytelling, writers
Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

0

2 months ago

call, creativity, crime, direct, FBI, give, Googling, heads, humor, joke, just, line, poison, research, safety, should, someone, story, writers

All funny writers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

89 shares on Threads this month:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

31 shares on X this month:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing over it is also dusting.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Spotted on Messenger:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Seen just now on Twitch:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Just shared via WeChat:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Just landed via Twitch:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

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